Goodbye to You
by Karu Leonnese
Summary: Rated for death. My first serious RtED fic. ANGST CENTRAL! How do you carry on when the thing that completes you is gone?


Goodbye to You by Karu Leonnese Disclaimer: Song is 'Goodbye To You' by Michelle Branch. RtED belongs to DreamWorks. Darn. ^.^o Notes: Um...slashy fluff. Actually, it's all how you see it. Some might say slash, others may not. I dunno...to each their own interpretation ^.^ I had this fic idea before I had the song, then I heard this and thought it matched perfectly. Lyrics are in italics (or these ~, if FF.N still won't do my italics....) and flashbacks are in *** these things.  
  
Warnings: T/M pairing. Deathfic, suicide thoughts and all...It's sad, but it has a happy ending...I think.  
  
~*~  
  
~Of all the things I believed in  
  
I just wanna get it over with  
  
Tears form behind my eyes but I do not cry  
  
Countin' the days that pass me by~  
  
Tulio stared at the ceiling as he lay sideways across his bed. Focusing on one spot, he could almost forget the twangs of hunger his system sent him. Not that this mattered, however, since he hadn't bothered to do anything but stare for at least two days. And the day before that, all he had done was the necessary actions.  
  
It wasn't that he was lazy, he just couldn't bring himself to go about daily life anymore. He spent all his time thinking about the past, and it had built up so much that it dragged him down into a deep fit of depression.  
  
Finally, Tulio raised himself into a sitting position. Even something as simple as that seemed difficult and foreign. He sighed. It was as if someone had taken all the joy and purpose out of his life.  
  
"They did..." he said to himself, "It all left when he did."  
  
~I've been searching deep down in my soul  
  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
  
Feels like I'm starting all over again  
  
These last three days have been pretend~  
  
Three days ago. Etched in his memory, something he'd never be able to forget. The day had started off so ordinary, so simple...  
  
***  
  
"...and that's our next adventure!" Miguel grinned at his partner and absently strummed his guitar.  
  
Tulio looked at him as the two walked down the road. He loved these times, just being together and having fun. He even loved to hear that guitar, as much as he protested against it.  
  
He laughed. "And I suppose you want me to come up with a plan to get us there?" he quipped, poking his partner's shoulder with an index finger.  
  
"Of course! Who better? I mean, that's what I keep you around for after all..." Miguel's statement drifted off as he stared at something in the distance.  
  
Noticing this, Tulio followed his gaze, only to see a group of figures riding toward them. "Looks like trouble...let me handle it..."  
  
Miguel shrugged. He trusted Tulio to take care of it. "By all means..."  
  
The two continued walking until the group caught up to them. There were five of them, all on horseback. They didn't look too friendly, despite the fact that they were smiling. They surrounded the travelers, cutting off their path on both sides.  
  
"Can we help you gentlemen?" Tulio asked. He decided he should choose his words carefully. No need to make this band angry if they could help it.  
  
"We watch this path, for thieves, criminals and murderers," one of them answered, "and I've seen the both of you on wanted posters."  
  
Tulio looked at the man, quickly formulating any possible answers that wouldn't involve them getting into a fight. He could see Miguel out of the corner of his eye, slightly backing behind him. He cleared his throat. "Gentlemen, I assure you, we pose no threat to any of you. If you'll just let us on our way, we'll be gone before you know it."  
  
"Well, we would, but there's a very tempting reward for your capture..." the man replied. He nodded once, and the group began to close in on them.  
  
The two took a step backwards simultaneously, only to by confronted by another horseman. Miguel looked at his partner, ready for him to come up with an escape.  
  
"Miguel..." Tulio hissed through his teeth, to avoid their captors seeing them converse. Being in situations like this many times, the two had learned to carefully disguise their talking. It was possible for them to have a regular chat without anyone being the wiser. "I'll distract them, and you run."  
  
"What about you?" his partner looked anxiously at him. There was no way they would separate. Miguel could no sooner leave his partner to this group as to jump in front of a herd of stampeding bulls. It was as simple as that for him; either both made it out or neither.  
  
Tulio blinked a few times, then came up with a reply. "Then you distract them and I'll run. Once they see we're both gone, we can meet back together down the road. We'll confuse them. Okay?"  
  
"And you're sure this'll work?"  
  
"Have I ever steered you wrong before?...Don't answer that."  
  
"Well? Any last words before you're hauled off to the authorities?" the gang's leader, oblivious to the two's conversation, seemed to be glowing maliciously with the thought of the reward.  
  
Tulio picked up on this. He nudged Miguel in the side slightly with his elbow. "Change of plans. We'll routine the leader against the rest."  
  
"I like that plan better."  
  
Tulio nodded once. They had done the 'routine' as they called it, so many times that it was second nature. They would be out of this before one could say 'problemo'.  
  
"Say goodbye to freedom, guys..." the leader chuckled. He moved his horse closer to the partners, making them take another step back. "You might get a swift death sentence if you're lucky."  
  
Swallowing the lump of fear in his throat, Tulio advanced a step towards him. "And...how are you going to spend the reward money?"  
  
This caught him off guard. "We'll...split it equally, of course..."  
  
Miguel fell into step and slid in next to Tulio. "But...I overheard you a second ago, mumbling to yourself how you were going to keep all the money and leave the others in the dust!"  
  
This remark earned the leader various looks from his followers, mainly ones of anger, shock and one or two of murder. The leader backed his horse up a few steps nervously. "That's not true! I would never think of double- crossing any of you!"  
  
"So I guess we heard wrong when we heard you were going to drown them all one by one once you turned us in and got the money?"  
  
"You bastard!" one of the group shouted. A few others uttered similar remarks. The other four horsemen, momentarily ignoring Miguel and Tulio, stepped up to surround their leader.  
  
Head darting back and forth quickly, he found any means of escape impossible. He tried to reason with his companions. "Who are you going to believe? These two criminals, or one of your own?" Looking to where the captives were, he noticed them gone. They had taken off running the moment the attention was off them. "You've been tricked! THEY'VE ESCAPED!!!"  
  
Dashing off the road, Tulio and Miguel ran as fast as humanly possible. In seconds, the horsemen had noticed their disappearance and come after them.  
  
Quickly, Tulio spotted a ledge some ways off, with a small tunnel dug into it. He pointed in the direction while running, so Miguel could see their course. His partner nodded, and the two made their way closer to the ledge. Once they got there, they could hide inside the tunnel until the gang went past, then continue on their way.  
  
Tulio's mind was frantic, willing his body to go just a bit longer, run a bit faster. They were so close to ending this...all they had to do was go a few more feet...  
  
The gang leader suddenly sprang up behind them, sword in hand, galloping his horse so close, they could feel its breath on their backs. The man on the horse swung the sword, aiming right for Tulio. Tulio yelled out, expecting the blade to slice through him. But instead, he felt himself being pushed out of the way, falling to the ground.  
  
The thundering of hooves beat past him and he looked around. He saw the gang leader turning around to make another pass. And he saw Miguel collapsed on the ground, right next to the tunnel.  
  
"NO!!"  
  
~And I said goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything that I knew  
  
You were the one that I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to~  
  
Tulio jumped up off the ground, and ran to his partner. "Miguel!"  
  
Miguel looked in pain, but managed the reply. "I'm okay. The tunnel..."  
  
Tulio nodded and slung the blond's arm over his shoulder. He pulled them both to the tunnel and went as far back as they could go. One of the benefits of their statures as compared to their pursuers' was that they could fit into tighter areas than them, ensuring that thy wouldn't be followed too deep into the tunnel.  
  
Tulio set Miguel down carefully on the ground. The only sounds in the tunnel were the two's labored breathing, and it was dark. It took a few seconds for Tulio's eyes to adjust so that he could see his partner. "You...okay?..."  
  
"I think..." Miguel turned his back to Tulio, "I think they got me pretty bad...."  
  
Even in the dark, Tulio could make out the deep gash, soaked in dark red blood, that went from Miguel's neck to his waist through his shirt, now almost completely cut in two. "Oh my God..." He moved closer to his partner, lifting him gently until he was laying on him, with his chest in Tulio's lap. "It's gonna be okay Miguel...You're gonna be fine...You saved my life, and I'm not gonna let that go unrepaid."  
  
Miguel turned slightly to look at him. Tulio could see it in his eyes. Things weren't going to be okay. And Miguel knew it. "Tulio...I want you to know..."  
  
Tulio squeezed his eyes shut to prevent the already-forming tears from falling. "Don't talk like that! You're not going to die, I won't let you!"  
  
The blond smiled half-heartedly. "I don't think that's your choice to make Tulio."  
  
Tulio grabbed his partner's hand, giving in to the tears that forced through his eyes. "You can't...you can't leave me..."  
  
"You're right...I can't..." Miguel squeezed the hand in his own, "We always promised...to be together forever, right?"  
  
Tulio could only nod.  
  
"Forever is forever..." he closed his eyes. "I promise I'll never leave you..."  
  
The form lying against Tulio went limp. "Miguel?" No answer. "Miguel?!" He tapped his partner's shoulder a few times, in hopes that he was just sleeping or silent. But it was no use.  
  
Miguel was gone.  
  
After that moment, reality had seemed nothing more than a dream to the remaining partner. He buried his friend in the tunnel, where no one would disturb him, without a word. When he got back up to the road, their attackers were long gone. All Tulio had to do now was go to town and rent a room in the nearest inn.  
  
He felt heavy, as if his entire world was crashing down on him. He knew he couldn't bear to stay at the scene of the deed much longer. He had to leave it. 'Just go, Tulio. Just go and don't look back.'  
  
Just as he started walking, something hit against his foot. Looking down, he saw Miguel's guitar. In the panic to escape, his blond partner had dropped it. Slowly, Tulio bent over and picked it up, beginning to cry again as he did so. Then, with the instrument in hand, he continued along the road.  
  
"Adios, amigo."  
  
***  
  
~But I still get lost in your eyes  
  
And it seems that I can't live a day without you  
  
Closin' my eyes, you chase the thoughts away  
  
To a place where I'm blinded by light  
  
But it's not right~  
  
Tulio looked over at the single chair in the room, where he had propped the guitar when he had rented the room. It was unbearable, these days after. It was eating away at him inside, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. It seemed that there was only one answer to his problem, and it wasn't an easy one. But anything had to be better than this gnawing hole he felt in his heart. He didn't know what to do...  
  
"You promised..." he said, directing his gaze to rest on the guitar, "You promised you'd never leave." He shook convulsively, trying to control himself, only to find himself walking toward the stringed instrument.  
  
"God Miguel, I...I can't do this. I can't just go on through life, pretending it doesn't hurt every moment you're not around...I'm not strong enough for that! You said you'd never leave!"  
  
He fell back on the bed, landing on it the right way this time, and buried his face in his pillow.  
  
~Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything that I knew  
  
You were the one that I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to~  
  
Eventually, he fell asleep. He didn't remember when or how, but he suddenly found himself in the limbo between sleep and consciousness. That point in slumber where you know you're sleeping, but can't bring yourself to wake or move. He just lay there, various thoughts zipping through his head, not lingering on any of them long enough to make any difference.  
  
Empty. That's what he was, and that's how he would be for the rest of eternity. Miguel had completed him, put something inside him that made life worth living each day. And with him gone, that spark disappeared too. Tulio would have given anything in the world to have him back. To have him come back and they would both live again. Like Miguel always said, it was both or neither. He knew there was no Tulio without Miguel. Just a shell. A hollowed husk of a person without any spirit, any drive.  
  
Just an empty shell...  
  
~And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time  
  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine  
  
I want you, but I'm not givin' in it's true~  
  
Right then, Tulio made up his mind. From that moment on, that night was his last on this world. He had to get rid of the pain, and if dying was the only way to accomplish it, then that was the course he would take. This world held nothing for him anymore. And maybe, when he died, he would see his partner again, and they could spend eternity together.  
  
All he had to do was get through the night. Why he didn't take a knife at that moment and end it was beyond him. It just seemed like he had to wait until daylight. Something inside him refused to do the deed tonight.  
  
But Tulio didn't care. Soon enough, it would be morning, and all the pain, all the emptiness would be gone, and he'd be free of it all. Back again with the only thing that made him complete.  
  
"Until tomorrow, partner." With that, the raven-haired man drifted into full slumber.  
  
~Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything that I knew  
  
You were the one that I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to~  
  
He knew he was dreaming. He had to be. But it felt so real...There was no way it could be real. No way Miguel could be here, lying next to him, sleeping peacefully.  
  
Tulio had fallen asleep on his side, with one arm resting on his waist. The other was sprawled out across the bed. And in his dream, Miguel was there. He was there, laying his head on Tulio's outstretched arm and curled up next to him. He could feel the strands of his partner's golden hair just millimeters from his face. A sudden surge of happiness filled every part of him.  
  
'If this is a dream, please God, never wake me up...'  
  
He didn't move. Didn't try to open his eyes. He was afraid that if he did so much as breathe wrong, this would end, and he would go back to the emptiness and suffering.  
  
It had to be real. It couldn't be just a dream. He was far too conscious for it to be a dream. But it was far too impossible to be a reality.  
  
Tulio didn't feel heavy, didn't feel the crushing pain he had as company for the past three days. It was as if nothing at all had happened. Everything was normal. Life was worth living and every new day was a new adventure. He knew there was only one thing that could bring about this drastic change in him. Only one person had ever given him this much heart, this much fulfillment. And this one person was right here now, despite all obstacles, even the final obstacle of death, right here with him, and would never leave him again.  
  
He leaned closer, burying his face in Miguel's soft hair. If this was heaven, then eternity was too short a time to spend this way. Tulio tried to stay awake, to savor the moment as long as possible. But soon his body won out over his mind and he slipped back into unconsciousness, far happier than when he had first fallen asleep.  
  
~And when the stars fall I will lie awake  
  
You're my shooting star~  
  
Tulio woke early the next morning, content and fulfilled. He looked over to where Miguel had been, expecting him to still be there. He found only his own arm, still stretched out. The sadness crept back to him slowly. It had all been a dream after all. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his head on them. He knew it could only be a dream. But...there was one faint little ray of hope in his mind that it had been a mistake, and that his partner really was alive.  
  
A faint noise interrupted his thoughts. Looking up, Tulio strained to determine its source. It sounded like...  
  
Guitar.  
  
Tulio whipped his head to the chair he had left the guitar on, only to find the instrument still there, leaning on the seat of the chair. Let down once again, the raven-haired man turned his head to face forward, eyes not focusing on any one thing.  
  
Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around his neck gently. Tulio gasped, but did not struggle. He felt soft strands of hair touch his cheek, and an all- too-familiar voice whispered in his ear.  
  
"I told you I'd never leave you..."   
  
~Fin~  
  
A/N: o.O...How'd Miguel get back?! Wow. This fic turned out entirely different than I intended, but I like it anyways. I wrote this thing completely at night, when I can actually do angst writing. ^.^o And it looks like I'm over my @#$%in' writer's block, 'cause I've already got a sequel in the works for this fic. So what do y'all think? ~ ^.^ \/ Karu 


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